


And Love is Not a Choice

by smoke_the_writer



Series: Newsies Songfics [1]
Category: Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, First Kiss, Idk man my first sprace fic, M/M, Modern Era, Songfic, don't hurt me, really my first fic ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-05-29
Packaged: 2019-05-15 17:41:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14794983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smoke_the_writer/pseuds/smoke_the_writer
Summary: Thank you so much for reading! ~Smokecomments and kudos make my day!follow me on Tumblr@smoke-the-woke





	And Love is Not a Choice

(I don't wanna hear you've got a girlfriend  
Sometimes you're better off alone  
But if you change your mind, you know where I am  
Yeah, if you change your mind, you know where to find me  
'Cause I don't ever wanna be your girlfriend)

Antonio “Racetrack” Higgins was sitting at the bar when he met her. Katherine was hard to miss, with her fiery red hair. Oddly, however, for once, a girl was walking towards him, and not vice versa. He opened his mouth to tell her something, anything, that would let her know that he wasn’t in the mood for a hookup, when she spoke instead.  
“I’m not over here to hit on you! Just let that be known.” she was obviously very flustered, “I’m over here because A., you looked lonely, and B., because one of my friends over there thinks he knows you from… class or something.”  
He turned to look at the group she was pointing to, only to spot, well, Spot. That short, angry, and though Race wouldn’t admit it to himself, very cute, kid from his History class.  
He turned back to Katherine to verify that he did, in fact, know Spot, expecting her to nod and go back to her friends. Instead, she did something that put him on a different path forever.  
“Would you like to come over and sit with us? You seem pretty lonely.”  
Race weighed his options before nodding and following her back to the booth.

(And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me  
Push another boy aside and just give in)

When he locked eyes with Spot on the way back to the booth, something clicked within him. It was a sort of feeling that he had never had before. It was warm and fuzzy in his chest, spreading throughout his entire body, twisting his tongue and releasing butterflies into his stomach. He assumed, scared, that this was love. A puppy crush or something, but still love. It was terrifying because Race knew that he was straight, and he had never felt this way about a girl before. Race ignored the feeling, putting on his most mischievous smile and introducing himself to the group.  
“Hey, he can sit next to me,” Spot spoke up after a few too many seconds of silence. “Just push past Romeo over here and we can all squeeze together.”  
Much to Romeo’s annoyance, Race pushed past him and sat very close to Spot. not uncomfortably close or anything, just closer than necessary. They talked for a while, realizing just how much Race had in common with all of Spot’s friends. When they finally decided to call it a night, Race made sure to get everyone’s phone numbers.  
As they walked home, Race realized that Spot lived on the same floor of the dormitories that he did. They laughed and talked for a while more before both turning to go inside. However, before he could open the door, Spot turned him around and pressed a kiss to his cheek. He smiled at a very flustered Race and walked away.

 

(Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)  
Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)  
And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me  
But boys love girls and boys  
And love is not a choice)

They met up a couple of times after that, causing Race to question his sexuality more and more. Every time he would come back to his dorm after one of their outings, his roommates, Oscar and Morris Delancey, would give him strange looks. He ignored them, closing the door to his room and lying in bed, thinking for a while (not about Spot or anything!), Before falling asleep.  
This began to happen more the more he met up with Spot. sometimes he hung out with all of his other newfound friends too, but he mostly spent his time with Spot. It was silly, actually. They mostly went to normal places, like bookstores and coffee shops, but he still valued the time he spent with Spot so much.  
After a while, they began to get closer, doing little things like holding hands and leaning their heads on each other's shoulders. Sometimes Spot would kiss him on the cheek, but Race never kissed him. It was totally platonic, he told himself, but he knew that it wasn’t true. At some point, the lines in his head began to blur and he started thinking of Spot as a boyfriend. He still kept everything hush-hush with his roommates and his family, but when Spot asked him to be his boyfriend, he automatically said yes. Nobody really knew about it except for them.

(Pose, you've gotta save your reputation  
They're close to finding out about your Boyfriend  
But if you change your mind, you know where I am  
Yeah, if you change your mind, you know where to find me  
'Cause I don't wanna save your reputation)

His roommates began to pry a little bit too much, asking him questions whenever he came home.  
“You talk about Spot an awful lot. Why do you talk about him so much?” Oscar asked once.  
“You spend too much time with Spot. I mean, what are you, a fairy?” Morris quizzed.  
He managed to dodge the questions, answering with,  
“I don’t talk about him that much. Do you?” He smirked as Oscar fumbled for his words,  
And  
“Unlike you, Morris, I actually have friends”  
And his question dodging went on fine until one day. He was coming home from a date with Spot. They had gone to the park. He was about to go to his room when Morris yelled from the couch.  
“We know that youse a fairy, Antonio.” he spat as he and his brother stood up and approached him.  
“Youse a lousy Pansy Anthony!” Oscar grinned menacingly.  
“Boys, this isn’t necessary!” he whispered before Oscar punched him in the face. Once he was on the floor, the brothers kept kicking him until they believed that he was unconscious. He pulled himself off of the floor with his last remaining strength and stumbled to Spot’s dorm. It was Spot’s foster brother Jack who answered the door, eyes widening when he saw the state that Racer was in.  
“Spot!” he yelled over his shoulder before ushering Race inside, “can ya grab the first aid kit?”  
“Why?” he yelled back, stubborn as always.  
“Because our good friend Race seems to be bleeding out as we speak!”  
“Shit!” he heard Spot yell as he ran to grab the first aid kit.

(And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me  
Push another boy aside and just give in)

After Race was patched up, he turned to look at Jack and mouthed, Can you go?. After Jack was gone, Race looked at Spot and mumbled  
“I didn’t want to have to do this… but I don’t think that we can be together. I’m not gay. I’m straight. And I’m not ready for any sort of relationship like this with you. I’m sorry.” He shed a tear before leaving the Dorm and walking over to his own. He didn’t even turn back to see Spot’s reaction. He slipped quietly into his room, laying down and crying himself to sleep.

(Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)  
Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)  
And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me  
But Boys love girls and boys  
And love is not a choice)

They saw each other a few times after that. Passing in the hallways and bumping into each other in class. Each time, each boy would get this sad look in his eye, like he was yearning for the other. Race had no other friends, so he just went back to being alone, and Spot never went out because everywhere reminded him of Race.

(I am just a villain vying for attention from a boy  
A boy who can't decide and here's the reason why)

One day, however, Spot had had enough. When he saw Race that night in the hallway, he grabbed the boy by his shoulders, stood on his tiptoes, and kissed him on the lips. Hard. The both of them stood there for a while in shock, only pulling apart when Race started crying.  
“I’m so so-sorry. Please, never let me leave you again.”  
Spot, in a moment of softness, brushed away his tears and kissed him again. This time, though, it was soft and slow and pure and perfect. Just like everything around them.

 

(Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)  
Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)  
Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated)  
Boys love girls and boys (sophisticated, manipulated))

“But Spot… I can’t be gay. I like girls,” Race’s breathing grew more labored.  
“Racer, you dumbass. Youse Bisexual. You likes girls, and you likes boys. It’s that simple.”  
“Oh… you’re right.” Race laughed before pressing his lips to Spot’s once again.

(And never did I think that I  
Would be caught in the way you got me  
But Boys love girls and boys  
And love is not a choice)

Those two boys were inseparable after that. They were there for each other when they needed it most. Like when Race had to move out of his dorm because of the Delancey’s, and when Spot got into multiple fights, and most especially when Race came out to his parents.

They were even there for each on their wedding day.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! ~Smoke
> 
> comments and kudos make my day!
> 
> follow me on Tumblr 
> 
> @smoke-the-woke


End file.
